Well, it’s been over a year since our maiden voyage. Today we left for the north. Can you imagine that? We’re gonna go sell rebel stuff to the Yankees? It’s kind of like the carpetbaggers in reverse. They seem to love this stuff. I’ll never understand how a Yankee thinks, but that’s okay. What was that saying, Variety is the spice of life. I’ve learnt over the years to forgive the Yankees for the way they are. I think it’s cause they spend all that time crowded in them big cities with all that ice and snow. They are okay once you get to know them, but it’s kind of hard to get to know them. They look at ya all weird when you come up to them on the street and say, Howdy! I know this cause Roger is constantly saying Hey to them. They think when you say, ’Hey,’ you’re angry and yelling at them fer something.’ They’re also in a mighty rush where ever they are a goin’. Imagine bein’ in a rush to go out and have fun. Why, half the fun of going places is the gettin’ there. I think maybe they’re also rushin’ cause they’re cold. Anyway, it’s hard to get them to stop long enough to say howdy and pass the time of day. When you finally do corner one and start talking, their eyes either glass over or they start shiftin’ their gaze back and forth like they’re lookin’ for somethin’ to attack them if they don’t rush on. I see that look with Punkin’ when he’s down in the swamp trying to pull catfish out of the sunken stumps. Of course, he’s lookin’ round for snakes and gators cause they will bite if ya don’t keep moving outta their way. 

This evening I’m sitting here on the sofa cause the carpet is full of poop. Whooo eee, this place sure does stink. We’re on a grocery store parking lot waiting for the dawn when we can find a steam cleaner. The store is in a little town in the Pennsylvania mountains. Again, we have no pump, water, or lights. That seems to be our lot in life. This is how it all began. 

We was on our way to a festival when we stopped along the road so’s I could make some breakfast. It was a cute little town, and they had a Piggly Wiggly. Roger got out and bought some eggs, Spam, and bread. While I was frying up the Spam and eggs, my foot started getting wet. Roger said, Aw, you probably just dropped some water and forgot about it. Now, after over a year livin’ in this thing, I know that Roger is in denial. I read about that condition in the Enquirer when they says that the country was in denial about the alien kidnappings and the government cover-up. Anyway, as breakfast proceeded, my foot got wetter and wetter until I was sloshing around in the kitchen area spashing the furniture. I brought this to Punkin’s attention, and he said, Sweetie, I guess we do have a problem.  Well, when he finished his Spam and eggs, he lifted up the front sofa (yeah, the one with the fire ants. They drowned now!), and there was a hole in our fresh water tank. He tried to plug up the hole with a stick of gum and a piece of duct tape. That would work till we got to the fairgrounds. We pulled in the fairgrounds and Roger said he’d have to drain the fresh water tank to fix the leak. Well, he goes to the back of the RV in the bathroom and turns the water on in the sink. He went out and opened the grey water tank cause it was kinda full and stood there waiting for the fresh water to appear. He stood there for quite awhile wonderin’ where the heck the water was a-goin’ to. I was sitting in the front of the cabin doing some drawing for the comic book.

After awhile, I started smelling this awful smell. I couldn’t imagine that the gray water smelt that bad. After all, it’s mostly just dish soap and water from the kitchen. So, I yell, Punkin’? Somethin’s startin’ to stink in here. He says, Don’t worry, it’s just the gray water draining. Well, the stink got stronger and stronger. Finally, Roger came in kind of puzzled and said, I never did see any gray water come out of the pipe. As he stepped inside the door, his feet hit the carpet and it was like a blue swamp. Pee you, did it ever stink. He goes to the back of the cabin to the john and yells, The john’s overflowing! Well, I got up and opened windows while he shut off the water in the bathroom sink. It seems that our bathroom sink is connected to the black water tank. The fresh water flowed into the sink and down into the black water tank and overflowed it into the cabin. Man, that sucker sure filled up fast. 

We walked to a phone, but couldn’t find anyone in the yellow pages who could handle a mess like this. Roger got the shop vac out and started sucking up the poop and water. I evacuated once again and swore that I’d never come back in there again. He got a lot of the poop up, and we took off for the nearest grocery store to get a steam cleaner. Well, when we got to the grocery store, the clerk said they used to have steam cleaners, but they all got stolen. They didn’t require ID or a driver’s license to rent a cleaner. So, that’s when I realized that there is such a thing as a Yankee Redneck! Why, I’d expect Stump’s Grocery in Redneck Holler to do stuff like that, and I know the town folk would steal the steam cleaners for Christmas presents and stuff, but I never thought I’d see a northern Redneck Holler. We finally found out the name of a man who had the only steam cleaner in town at his house and does carpet for a fee.

Is it light yet? If it weren’t so cold, I’d go out and sleep under the stars. I can’t sleep in all this stink!

On to June 25