Howdy, y’all. I haven’t been a-writin’ lately cause I been busy. I just went on the website and saw that I promised to tell y’all about that ground hog the Yankees are so attached to. I heered that he even gits his own house that looks like a tree stump. Anyways, this here’s my story about Punxsutawney Phil.

Since me and Punkin’s been on the road, we’ve met a bunch a celebrities, but I never met a critter that’s a celebrity. Here’s how it all happened. We was goin’ out Route 80 across Pennsylvania, and I saw a sign that said Punxsutawney Phil this way. Punxsutawney is the name of a town in Pennsylvania. Now, I recall this one Yankee come into Redneck Holler and made fun of our town name. Next time that happens, I’m gonna remind them that I’ve seen some Yankee towns with equally strange names like Blue Balls, Intercourse, and Punxutawney! Puttin’ that all aside, I had rented a movie at Blockbuster all about Groundhog Day in this town of Punxutawney. Well, seein’ as how this town and that varmint was famous, I asked Punkin if he would pull over and let me take a picture of Punxutawney Phil.

Punkin hates to pull over and waste time on the road. That’s cause he’s a man, and once men have their eye on a destination, they don’t want to veer from the path fer nothin’. I’m just thankful that the Redneck Limo has an indoor outhouse! Well, we headed into the town of Punxutawney, and asked the first resident we found where we can take a picture of Punxutawney Phil. I told them that we wanted to present this part of our trip to the townsfolk in Redneck Holler when we give our travel lecture at McWarter’s Saloon. They told us to follow the little footprints through the town, and they’d lead us to a park where Punxutawney Phil is living. We thanked them, and headed toward the footprints. It was only a few hours til dark, and Punkin’ wanted to get some supper and be back on 80.

Well, we followed the footprints through the town when all of a sudden the road starts up a mountain. Roger shifted the thing into low gear and we started our slow climb to the top. The road was narrow and winding, and Roger was beginnin’ to complain about the 38 feet of train he was havin’ to haul up to the top of this mountain just to see a dang rodent. Well, fer all you women out there ya can understand what I was a-goin’ through trapped in a RV, going up the side of a mountain with a cranky husband just to get a picture of a rodent. We got to the top of the mountain and found Punxatawney Phil Park. Roger couldn’t find a parking place to accommodate 38 feet of vehicle, so he parked between these two metal poles. There wasn’t a soul about, so we wandered all over that park looking fer the ground hog. Now, in that park, they had a big stage, seating all around, and a stump in the center of the stage. Roger knocked on the stump, but nothin’ came out. We saw a building, and looked in the winders.again nothin’. After about 30 minutes of huntin’ fer the dang thing, we gave up and went back to the RV. It was gettin’ pretty dark, and Roger was having trouble seeing where the trailer was going when he backed up, so I got out of the Limo armed with my brand, new walkie-talkie and tried to talk him through the maneuverin’.

Well, I’m not too good at directions, and Roger was getting’ hungrier and grouchier. We was doing ‘back up a little this way, and pull forward a bit that way. Now, straighten out, turn your wheels to the right, now left. All of a sudden, we both heard a crunch and the RV jerked to a halt. I was kinda to the side of the RV giving directions and couldn’t really see what was a happenin’ to the rear of the trailer. When I walked back, I knew I was in big trouble. Cause, Roger and I had been disputing that the trailer was gettin too close to that big pole to the rear. He was of the opinion that it was gettin’ too close, and I was of the opinion that he had plenty of room. Well, fer once, he was right. I had assisted him in wedging the RV and trailer smack dab between the two metal poles. Now, I’m talking 20 foot poles, not little bitty poles. Well, Roger got out and came round the back to see if I had assisted him in crunching the trailer. I hadn’t. There I stood wonderin’ if he was a gonna start yellin or kickin’ the tires or something. You see, Punkin’ is longsufferin’. He hardly ever loses his temper. His face gits a little red and he sighs a lot, but he rarely yells. He just looked at me and said, I told ya we was too close to the poles. I guess after I did talk him into climbing a mountain to see a non-existent ground hog, assisting him in jamming the RV and trailer between two poles, and causin’ him to miss supper, he had a right to an I told you so! Well, no matter what we did, we couldn’t maneuver that thing out from betwixt the poles, so he went to Plan B. We always got a backup plan even when there aint one. We use it a lot. We took the trailer off the hitch and put it up on a jack. You see, at one time, the trailer had a wheel on the tong, but it fell off around Beaver Creek, South Carolina. After we jacked the trailer up, we kicked the trailer and jack sideways. That moved the thing about 6 inches to the left. We jacked it back up and kicked again. Kick. Bang. Kick. Bang. That went on for about 20 minutes until the trailer was sideways to the RV, and we finally had enough room to back up the RV and pull it out from between the poles. We hitched up the trailer and headed back to town. We got to the center of town and found a little plaza that had a Chinese restaurant in it. During our Chinese dinner, Roger and I started talkin’ with a nice, young couple about their town. Roger, who had calmed down seemed to avoid all mention of Punxatawney Phil. I sat there kinda disappointed that after all that trouble, I wasn’t gonna be able to share a picture of a celebrity like Phil with the folks in the Holler. When I noticed a break in the conversation, I said, Do y’all know where I can git a picture of Punxatawney Phil? I glanced kind of sideways at Roger, and he was a-sittin there with his mouth open, kind of just staring at me. I guess he was amazed that I would mention gettin’ a picture of Phil after all that happened. They said, Oh, sure, Phil’s on display in the public library window in the center of the town. Phil was only one block from where we were sittin’ in the restaurant. Well, I knowed better than to say anything else, and went back to eatin’ my moo-goo-whatever.

When we finished our dinner and headed for the RV, Roger stopped me and said, I suppose you want to go to the town square and still get a picture of Phil. I nodded yes, and he just shook his head. Well, git in the Limo, and I’ll take you there, but, make it quick. We’re already 5 hours late to the next festival!

Roger said, He’s a big un. He’d be really good rolled in flour and fried crispy.

Read about our trip to Washington D.C. and Nashville